Delayed Mourning


This was my friend Jason. He died in 2003.

Of course, I didn’t know this until tonight. His funeral was held September 25, 2003. And for some weird cosmic reason, I chose now to go hunting for Jason on the internet. To see if I could find him.

And he’s gone.

Jason and I became friends when I was in college. In the early days of internet message boards and usenet groups, somehow Jason and I connected about Star Trek. Our friendship lasted over seven or eight years, but I lost touch with him shortly before I moved from Florida to California.

Of course, I had thought about trying to find him and re-establish contact with him many times over the years, but it just never happened. My sister and I have been working on this spec which has required us to do some research on deafness and blindness.  Tonight I started thinking about Jason, wondering if perhaps he’d remember me, and I could ask him some questions that might make our spec stronger.  Jason was blind. I used to read books on tape for him, books he couldn’t get on tape at that time — mostly Star Trek books — so he could enjoy them.

My other memories of him are very fuzzy…the kind of fog that descends after a few years when you aren’t living with the memories quite as much…and you wonder if it was ever real.

In my search for Jason this evening, I discovered his father had written a book about his son.  I don’t know if Jason ever mentioned me to his parents.  Jason was such a flirt, but I loved talking to him on the phone – he had a way of making me feel beautiful…which made no sense to me.  He was blind, and yet, he was certain I was gorgeous.

Jason was passionate about mathematics.  And Star Trek.  I remember many Star Trek conversations that carried us through the years.

And now I really hate that I missed out on the last year or two of his life.

I know some people think it seems silly or stupid to go hunting for old friends/acquaintances on the internet.  But this one I wish I had found far sooner.  Now all I will ever have are the foggy memories of our conversations and whatever old emails I can dredge up.

We never did meet in person.  Not that it mattered.

Goodbye, Jason.  I’m sorry I never finished reading that last “Star Trek: Voyager” book on tape for you.

Posted under randomness

This post was written by Shawna on September 27, 2009


The first victim

Congrats to the CW for beating Fox to the (usual) punch of canceling the first show of the new season!  CW handed walking papers to “The Beautiful Life” on Friday.  I never read it.  I never watched it.  It had zero appeal to me.  Still not sure why CW greenlit it (was it just the Ashton Kutcher involvement?  It couldn’t have been Mischa Barton).

A&E has canceled “The Cleaner.”  TBS confirmed that “The Bill Engvall Show” is no more.

And “Dollhouse”… what shall we do with you?

Re-runs of two ABC sitcoms from earlier in the week had more viewers.  You barely beat “Smallville.”

Perhaps Whedon fans need to get off their computers for one day and watch some flippin’ TV.

Just sayin’.

Posted under tv news, watch list

This post was written by Shawna on September 26, 2009

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CW commits to Vampire Diaries, Melrose Place

CW has given back nine episode orders to Vampire Diaries, Melrose Place and One Tree Hill.

I’d hold back on those specs though…let’s see how the shows hold up until the end of the season.  Second seasons are NOT guaranteed yet.

Posted under tv news, watch list

This post was written by Shawna on September 23, 2009

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How to save TV.

I figured it out.  I’m sure I’m not the first one to do so, but it finally hit me like a ton of bricks tonight.  How to save TV.

Social networking.

So I’m on Twitter, and I decide to glance at the trending topics, which get listed to the right of the tweet feed.  Nearly every trending topic is a tv show tonight.  HOUSE.  HEROES.  DWTS (Dancing with the Stars).  GOSSIP GIRL. MNF/Monday Night/Dolphins (all trending).

This isn’t new.  It’s been happening for awhile, but is just really apparent now.  If you are going to be engaged in social networks AND watch TV, you have to watch live.  Or, pretty close to it.

I found this out first hand when I DVR’d an episode of TRUE BLOOD one night, and I was on Twitter to ask about something totally unrelated.  Of course, I had to do so while TRUE BLOOD was airing, so I kept seeing tweets from people watching the show in real time.

The Emmys last night.  In some ways, almost didn’t need the show — or at least, being time delayed on the west coast, I could at least tell what parts I might want to skip through quickly due to the boredom that was coming from the tweets I was seeing at various times.

Fox, I think, has figured this out, and now reruns GLEE and FRINGE with live tweeting (from writers or actors) on Saturday nights.  I doubt it moves the needle much on either show, but it’s an intriguing idea.

So all of this to say, how do you bring people back to TV?  Through the internet, strange as that seems.  There is still a desire for collective experiences out there, and facebook or twitter help with that in a way that could only be achieved through viewing parties or at sports bars.

This…this means something.

Posted under analysis

This post was written by Shawna on September 21, 2009

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Because the new Watch List isn’t done yet…

Premieres tonight – Sons of Anarchy on FX (2nd season) and Melrose Place on CW (will reair a bunch of times this week too).

Lots to update on the list. Argh!

Posted under Uncategorized

This post was written by Shawna on September 8, 2009

Okay, I’m convinced.

Watch List stays.  I’ll work on it and get it up ASAP.  Expect lots of updates to it.

Posted under watch list

This post was written by Shawna on September 2, 2009

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I am a Writer, creator and destroyer of worlds.

Sometimes I feel the awesome power of creation.  You start with a tiny seed of an idea — a character, a story, a concept…sometimes it is just an image.  And then you build, like a kid with Legos, around that seed, expanding and detailing the whole way.  You add elements, you make them more specific, you add stories.

And then you start destroying things.  Some of the destruction is necessary.  You can’t keep everything.  Unlike a real world full of chaos, a storytelling world has some shape and boundaries, and usually, some meaning.  So you remove the elements that don’t add to the world, augment it and refine it.

Then there’s the gleeful destruction — where in the course of setting the world in motion new elements emerge as others disappear.  Then you have history in your world.  Backstory.

I love this part.  Shaping a universe, then watching it unfold.  Stories don’t write themselves, but if you set up the elements in just the right way, you can become an observer of what you’ve created, just watching it as it spins the tale before you.

I’m just shaping a few new worlds now.  Can’t wait to play in them and watch them grow.

Posted under writing

This post was written by Shawna on September 1, 2009